COS | Supporting parents to help children

In our previous edition, we highlighted the hidden consequences of the lack of childcare solutions for women seeking asylum. The testimony of Carrefour orientation solidarité (COS), which supports migrant families with young children, underscores how this gap also impacts couples, child welfare, and the broader integration process. (Editor's note)

Research has shown that the arrival of a new child and the first years of life are a particularly trying period for parents as individuals, but also as a couple. The tensions related to change are amplified in the context of migration, and even more so in precarious migration. Losses must be processed. This requires great creativity and adaptability, qualities not everyone possesses equally! If we add the various obstacles and social stressors encountered in the context of exile, we can understand that this situation is conducive to tensions within the couple, separation, but also integration difficulties.

Carrefour orientation solidarité (COS) has welcomed around forty families with young children every year since 2018. These families are referred to us by medical or psychoeducational institutions in the canton of Geneva or by the general hospice. Sometimes this is due to family fragility – single-parent families or families separated by fleeing – and sometimes due to specific needs of the young child: trauma, developmental difficulties, or autism spectrum disorders. COS's approach focuses on strengthening adults in their roles as parents and agents of their own lives: childcare, learning French, and psychosocial support are combined to equip these families for the challenge of taking their first steps in Geneva. The association is thus confronted with the difficulties encountered by couples who welcome a child into their home while themselves experiencing precariousness linked to their migration journey.

Being parents, despite everything.

Parents welcomed at COS often experience states of mistrust or hypervigilance, depression, stress, insomnia, or anxiety related to their situation in Switzerland. These symptoms stem from a certain level of isolation (social or informational), unsuitable housing conditions, a lack of prospects, and limited access to the job market despite a genuine desire for professional projects or training. Additionally, they experience exhaustion related to their daily lives, particularly at home with few childcare support options. In such a context, parents do not have all the tools necessary to fulfill their roles.

Mothers find themselves blocked by limited spots in kindergartens or daycares, including for language courses. We even see women who have lived in Geneva for seven or eight years who don't speak a word of French. Starting a family puts them in a position of inequality compared to their male partners. This creates a bind for women and a crisis for families.

Even more alarmingly, we also encounter women and children living in situations of domestic and/or spousal violence. In these cases, while it would be necessary to offer a safe place for regular childcare, mothers have waited months before being able to hope for a childcare solution to stabilize their situation.

Childcare outside the family, therefore, is an important, rich, and delicate job. However, the resources deployed in Geneva are not sufficient. This is why our association was conceived around three pillars: 1. Parenthood (with a kindergarten); 2. Training (French language learning, training projects); 3. Psychosocial security (financial stability, mental health, understanding the sociocultural system, as well as life projects, including work).

The idea is to support the family as a whole through the different stages of their new life in Switzerland. For example, we pay great attention to the issue of a child's «separation» from their mother, which can be highly symbolic for the family. This involves taking the time to listen and explain, including with an interpreter, during the initial meetings at the nursery or school. This is a dimension that is lacking in the institutional framework.

Working with…

The institutional resources deployed in the canton are barely enough to provide the necessary time and space to understand the living situation of the migrant families we encounter. Furthermore, these families often have little understanding of the expectations of our host society. The intercultural dimension, full of potential for misunderstandings, is often set aside. Consequently, in the context of our follow-ups, we sometimes observe professionals and parents locked in dynamics of confrontation rather than collaboration. We have even witnessed institutional violence, where initiatives intended to help people paradoxically become obstacles to care. This can lead to long-term suffering and even genuine distrust of our institutions and professionals.

We believe that only by having the most comprehensive vision possible of what families are going through can we contribute to providing the necessary support for their integration. This meticulous work involves translation and building bridges between the people concerned and professionals, as well as with the network. In Geneva, we are fortunate to be able to count on an invaluable number of resources to find solutions to each specific challenge. Sometimes, all it takes is making the right connection at the right time, and therefore we are largely dependent on and grateful for the trust of our partners!

Coordinator and Social Worker & FSP Psychologist Carrefour Orientation Solidarité